Birthday

The experience of having a baby and seeing him/her for the first time is unlike anything else in life. I cannot put it into words but I'll tell you our story.

Landon was due on January 17th, 2012, but at the rate we were going I swear he would have come in February. He was clearly too warm and comfortable and frankly I don't blame him. A week before my due date I was barely dilated or effaced and it didn't look like any progress was going to be made anytime soon. I was so ready to be done being pregnant and I was incredibly eager to meet my baby. It was at this appointment that my doctor decides to tell me he will be at a conference out of state from the 19th-24th of January.

Andy and I didn't like the idea of having someone we didn't know deliver our baby - the other doctor in the office would be on call in my doctor's absence. I knew that I could have chosen to see the other doctor for any of my prenatal appointments to get acquainted with him in the event that this would happen but it never worked out with my schedule. He is a fantastic doctor, just like mine, but I wanted my doctor - guaranteed. Even though I wasn't making much progress I had this sinking feeling that I would probably go into labor when my doctor was out of town (Murphy's Law, right!?) so my doctor suggested that we could do an induction on my due date. Andy LOVED this idea because he could plan his days out of the office and schedule his meetings accordingly. I wasn't in love with the idea because I was truly looking forward to the experience of my water breaking and/or having contractions on my own and heading to the hospital, bags packed and ready to go - but this was a guarantee that my doctor would be there... He told us to think about it and let him know as soon as we decided.

We discussed our options and decided that it made the most sense to do the induction. It took a lot of the guesswork out of the whole process and we were ready. On the evening of the 16th we headed to the hospital to get settled. The nurse did all the necessary preparations and rather quickly to my surprise. I was all hooked up to be monitored and had Cervidil placed in preparation for the next morning when they would start the pitocin and get the show on the road. We settled in and tried to sleep since that would be our last night of sleep as a family of two.

I believe it was about 6-7 (shift change) when they started the pitocin. I've heard some crazy stories about labor with pitocin - but I felt nothing. They had me on the lowest dosage and as the morning progressed I was only having a few contractions (that I didn't even know I was having) and they had me switch positions often. At one point they came in and told me that the baby's heart rate was dropping slightly. They gave me oxygen and had me switch positions a few more times. At around 11 they decided to stop the pitocin and the baby's heart rate returned to normal. The nurses had been in touch with my doctor and he called around noon to discuss the situation. Apparently my naughty little baby was not liking labor and his heart rate was dropping too low during each contraction. My doctor felt as though it would be safer to proceed with a C-section for fear that his heart rate would drop too low if we continued to attempt an induced labor. 

It was at this point that I started getting anxious and slightly upset/disappointed. Call me crazy but I was really looking forward to having him the natural way - but I knew it was best for the baby to proceed with a c-section. I wasn't going to take any chances. My doctor would return to the hospital after his office hours and we would start the procedure then. So we sat for the next five hours watching movies - I needed something to distract myself because my anxiety was steadily increasing. I knew everything there was to know about having a c-section but the whole idea of having major abdominal surgery freaked me out completely. It was also overwhelming to know that my baby would enter the world a little after five o'clock. Holy.Cra-moly. This was really happening. 

                                                      

When the doctor returned we switched rooms and I received my spinal (OUCH). Andy was then able to come into the room and as soon as I saw him I started to tear up - I was so relieved to see him. It was the strangest feeling being numb from the chest down - I could feel pressure while they prepped me and I probably asked them five times if I'm going to feel the incision since I could feel the pressure. At a certain point I was told they had already begun, phew!!! Then I felt like I couldn't breathe since the anesthesia numbed my diaphragm and I couldn't feel it expand or contract. Everyone reassured me that all my vitals were perfect and everything was ok. The doctors, anesthesiologist and the rest of the staff were so supportive and funny. I was relieved that they all worked so well together and   were trying to lighten the mood to make me more comfortable but I was still nauseas and overwhelmed. It turned out that Landon was facing forward instead of back so I am grateful we did the C-section. Had we decided to continue induced labor, I could have labored for several hours and then would have had to do an emergency C-section. 

At 5:14 pm on January 17th Landon entered the world weighing 6 lb 12 oz and was 19 3/4 inches. Andy was taking pictures of his "arrival" and the first thing I asked was if he had ten fingers and ten toes. He wasn't crying at first because he was getting suctioned (meconium) but as soon as I heard that first cry I couldn't control myself. They suctioned, assessed, wrapped and brought him over to me so that I could see him for the first time. The picture still brings me to tears. He was practically perfect in every way. 

Our meeting was, however, very brief and he was whisked away to the nursery. They stole my husband as well and I was left there to be put back together again. I was taken to my post partum room and for the next hour my vitals were being monitored and the nurses helped me when I got sick. It wasn't until almost 7:30 when I saw Andy again and nearly 8:00 when I got to hold my baby for the first time, skin to skin, and attempt his first "meal." Thank goodness for nurses  that helped with latching and positioning! I couldn't move even if I had tried. That night, and every night, in the hospital was great. Landon was so incredibly content to eat and sleep and open his eyes to meet friends and family that came to visit. Our entire hospital experience was great in every way. The nurses and techs were wonderful and the lactation consultant spent a lot of time with me. He did pretty well latching but it was exhausting and painful. More on that another time. 

We took him home on Friday during a snow storm and did so well in the car. It felt great to be home and get settled in with our new little bundle of joy. My recovery, however, did not go so well. I was in a lot of pain and couldn't do anything on my own for quite some time. Every time I took a step it felt like my side was going to split open and I swear it felt like it was actually happening. I couldn't carry my baby anywhere and I couldn't pick him up. Andy had to bring him to me when he got hungry, help me to sit up, dress, shower and change all of his diapers for the first couple weeks. I couldn't laugh/sneeze/cough without crying.

I don't know what I would have done without Andy. I didn't know that it was possible to fall deeper in love with my husband until we became a family of three.

Despite all the physical pain I experienced during my recovery I can honestly say that I've never felt so amazing. My heart was overflowing with love for my little baby and for my husband. I know it sounds cliche - but I never knew a love like that existed and it continues to grow exponentially each and every day.